Understanding Guilt

Guilt, is a driving force that is as common as love and as damaging as hate. It is more insidious, more difficult to escape and more persistently destructive then lust, ambition, ego or vanity. Most of us suffer from it some of the time; some of us suffer from it, all of the time. The truth is, the more you care about others and the more sensitive and considerate you are, the more likely you will be to suffer from guilt. It is believed that guilt itself, is not a ‘real’ emotion. It is more a sense of self judgement; that comes from knowing or feeling that you have done something wrong. The emotional aspect that affects us I believe, is the feelings of pain, remorse and regret that guilt elicits from us.

We tend to think of guilt in very stark terms of black and white. We know that we feel guilty when we do something that we know is wrong.

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Understanding The Heart

The heart is synonymous with everything to do with love, as soon as you think of a heart shape, your first thoughts are about love. When your heart starts pounding while you are in the company of someone you are attracted to, your mind more than likely will be filled with thoughts of love. That powerful four letter word has a habit of taking control of your whole being not just your heart. Love has the power to make some walk through fire to find happiness, yet the downside can keep another person in bed all day, too depressed to wake to their aching heart.

Love can bring as much misery as it does happiness, it truly is a two sided coin. Heads you win, tails you fail. It does seem a lottery for many who flip their coin hoping to find happiness, yet sadly many do not see the face of their beloved or soulmate showing up, on the first few flips of the coin.

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Love Without Conditions

Love, an emotion and state of being, that can lift people up to the heights of physical and emotional ecstasy. It is also capable of plunging them into the depths of despair. Particularly when things go wrong or love is not reciprocated. Whether we acknowledge it or not, for many love is rarely given, without an expectation of receiving ‘something’ in return.  I believe that the root of discontent lies within these expectations, and is often the cause of disappointment in love; And this is why I believe that true happiness and inner contentment can only be found through loving without conditions or expectations.

To create the right conditions for this to occur. You must first learn to love yourself. To like and respect yourself for who you are. To feel comfortable in your own skin. To not rely on other people to fulfil you or to make your life complete. For anything that we cling to that is exterior to us, is transient. It is not so much that we will lose what we love. Though there is always that possibility. But because if we define or judge ourselves on the basis of those exterior experiences; on how successful or fulfilling they are. Then we base those feelings of self worth on perception and not reality. Something that could be taken away from us in any moment. Self love, is the only thing that remains when everything around us is changing.

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The Key To Independence

Most people like to think they are independent; being independent means you don’t need anyone or anything to help you live your life. When we were younger, we needed our parents, or carers, to look after us because we were unable to look after ourselves. They brought us food, clothed us and reassured us when we felt ill or scared. I’m sure you’ll agree that it feels nice to be loved and cared for. This is part of the reason why people continue to depend on their parents.

Nowadays, with the high costs involved in buying their first home and the gloom of the economic downturn, more and more young people are staying with their parents well into their thirties. They trust their parents to look after them, when the world outside of their cosy nest seems harsh and unfriendly. What their parents don’t realize is that they are preventing their child from growing as a person. Independence means learning to make your own decisions and taking a chance on life. When young people continue to lean on their parents, they are not taking responsibility for their own lives.

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Learning To Listen

I recently read a quote that really made me think, it said…

” Listen! Or your tongue will make you deaf. ” Cherokee saying.

I do believe we often forget that the ‘art of communicating’ is a two way street. Being able to articulate and speak well purely in itself is not enough.

Putting The Fun Back Into Life

Finding happiness is the number one feeling we all seek as human beings. It is more important than money, health, or relationships. Without happiness, it is unlikely that you are even able to enjoy and appreciate those things.

This is one of my favourite quotes. “Happiness, is when what you think and what you say and what you feel, are in harmony,” Mahatma Gandhi. It makes perfect sense, it is simple and you would think an easy thing to do. But if it was, then why are so many people unhappy?